I am a “No-Neck” Clan Member

             

As a young girl, my sisters and I always made fun of our aunts “no-necks”.  A condition where your chin and the start of your chest became one.  No definition, no esthetically slim curve and certainly no necklaces.  Jewelry around the neck was simply too much focus on the area, not to mention immanent asphyxiation.  All necklaces looked like chokers and acted like them. 

  Little did I know that the evolution of that DNA would end up entrenched in the tissue of my neck one day!  Working its way, up from my thighs, leaving small deposits around my waist, heading north to unveil yet more damage.  Unlike the proud “Long-Neck” tribe of Northern Thailand, I was doomed to be a not so proud member of the “No-Neck” clan of Southern Ontario.   I am number 4 of 5 girls and started to notice the beginnings of “no-necks” development in my older sisters in their 30’s.  Living apart in different countries, I don’t see them as often as I would like, but when we are together, we all check each other out.  Other families who live closer together get to see the day to day evolutionary changes in family members.  I with my family, it’s always revolutionary.  Change appears more drastic when you see it all at once versus over time. 

I sometimes wonder if my other sisters regret, as I do, those rude, childish comments we would make of my mother and her sisters.  We use to think it was funny, but now…not so much.  We have become them.  You can bet your life on it that the next generation in waiting (our kids) are most likely making similar observations and comments.  We are now the butt of their jokes!  The only salvation is that they too one day will look in the mirror and wonder how we got there. 

I have now gone through a lot of soul searching, plastic surgery opinions and wardrobe trial and error.  This is who I am.  My body parts are my body parts, they come with the good, the bad and the ugly of me.  Surgery is not really an option I’m told.  The ligaments in my neck are genetic so any procedure might help a little but never enough to support some nice jewelry.  Losing weight and keeping it off helps, but again, I am going against Mother Nature and we know what she is like.  Wardrobe trials and tribulation have lead me to these “no–neck” rules.  Say NO to turtle necks and YES to V shaped tops and dresses.  I may not have a great neckline but can make people completely forget my neck area by focusing on more important real estate, the Grand Tetons!

Comments

  1. Anne Smithson says:

    You made me laugh. Now the next time I see you, my eyes will focus on your neck. You will be happy to know that I have never noticed this area before only your pretty bright face. A

  2. Andrea Marx says:

    Your writing humor came through loud and clear in this piece. Who needs necklaces as long as big earrings are in style!

    In my opinion, Big Tetons win out every time.

    A

  3. Bravo. I have acquired with age a bit of extra baggage both in my waistline and below my chin. Although I am unhappy enough to do something about it, I am too chicken. So I have decided t will just have to live with it. Chins up!

  4. Francine, hysterical,over no neck!! Great job, you will be the class valedictorian, I will predict!! We all have our flaws and yes, the gene pool cannot be dismissed. With me it is my chicken legs, too thin and no definition, acquired them from my Dad and both my sons have from me. Of late, I have come to refer to them as “thoroughbred legs”, brings a much more pleasing visual to mind than the aforementioned, I can’t even bring myself to say it again !! Loved this post, Nella.

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